Training Tips

QUESTION: Dear Sylvia, I am having trouble catching my horse. She is a 5-year-old Belgian/quarter horse cross mare and has had one foal. I bought her when she was a coming 4-year -old and she had a paint stud colt that year in June. We have 10 horses and she is herd boss. I have read a few articles on catching an alpha horse (including yours here: http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/TrainingTips64.html), but so far not many have helped. I do not have any small place to work her in yet so I can't do round penning with her and so I would opt for the grain bucket theme, since I don't want to chase her as that would just confirm that she is boss over me. She loves grain but I made the mistake of bringing it to her before instead of having her come to me, so now I have to mend my ways. I will often go out and just talk and rub her and she doesn't run. After doing that several times I can bring out the halter and rub that on her for a day or two, then I can catch her and ride. I try to play with her anywhere from 5 minutes up to an hour with her after I ride. But from one day up to a week (or more) after I ride her, (I ride bareback or with a saddle, doesn't matter) I can't get up to her for anything. It doesn't matter if I just have a grain bucket and let the other horses eat; she leaves the herd until I leave the pasture that they are in (I can stand about 10 feet on the other side of the fence) then she comes back, but as soon as I go to get back in the fence, she leaves again.

I have stayed out with the other horses and played with them (the longest time was around 1 1/2 hours), yet still she will not come. I have tried the none-catching idea and just stand or sit with a bucket of grain and she ignores me... the other horses practically come running when they see me with a grain bucket and I do work with them too. Her stud colt will be coming a year in June and I have worked with him on several things in a program (Pat Parelli level one) that we have, yet he never runs away when I come out even when I only have a halter with me, he still will let me catch him and work with him. I try to never walk directly toward her but in a circle and I don't look at her eyes.

Since I first bought her, I have tried to keep the practice of catching her fairly regularly and giving her grain or a treat then letting her go. She knows that I will not chase her now and she seems to hold that over my head. I have read your round penning article (http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/RoundPenning.html) and I know that who moves whom is very important. Often when I go out and can get up to her, I can stand back and move her hindquarters (both ways) and she will move them without a problem. Because of her problem with getting ridden I tried to make our rides enjoyable as possible. She responds to the lightest touch of my legs and will both Go and Whoa with about the same consistency. I can take her bridle/halter off and just direct her with a carrot stick. She is very responsive (once on the halter) and (If you know about the Pat Parelli method there are 4 phases to move your horse around) will do almost everything on phase one. (In phase one I am barely touching or directing her and she obeys). I'm not sure where I went wrong in her training (I had to somehow but I'm not sure) and I don't want to make a mess of her by trying it on my own.

My Dad is going to try and build a round pen out of panels and some round bales sometime in the next week... but he is very busy so it might be a lot longer to get a round pen and so that is why I am writing you to see if you can give me any tips on how to catch my mare while I'm waiting for a pen of some sort. Thank you again.

REPLY: Hi. Thanks for writing. Yeah, that's a tough one when you don't have a confined area to work in, to do the round penning to place a cue into her foundation to come to you when kissed to and when asking for her hind quarters. All forward impulsion in a horse comes from the hind quarters, so the actual end-purpose of that round penning exercise I teach there on my web site (and in my Round Pen Leadership DVD) is to get full control of the horse's hind quarters and then place a kissing-noise cue that means "come" as you ask for the hind quarters to come, to "follow the leader" of her herd. If you do the round penning exercise several times and the cue gets well set, it is more likely to be reflex in them when you go into pasture and ask for them the same way.

But I understand not having that round pen classroom available and so let me suggest something else. Yes I know Parelli's program quite well, I know all programs out there, in detail. And he's got some great stuff there, but what I find is missing in PP's program that is actually in mine is: deeper bonding techniques.

Let's have you try this: the next time you do manage to catch her/halter her (work with the natural horsemanship halter with at least a 12 foot lead rope), while you're there in pasture, I suggest you work on applying these deeper bonding techniques that I teach here (print this out and really study it, then apply them):

Right after you have haltered her there in pasture, plunge in right then and there and do every one of those that she will allow. The most important two to get into her foundation there is: teach her to drop her head to relax using pressure/release like I teach there, and get your finger in her mouth often to get her working her mouth (which instantly relaxes a horse when they are licking/chewing). Where her body goes, her mind will follow: to the relaxed, feeling-good spot. Reeeeeally indulge her there, don't be riding focused, be bonding focused, for the next several lessons there, using those horse whisperer "tricks of the trade" bonding/relaxing techniques.

Work with her there right in the pasture, use the techniques, get her completely melted, then...unhalter her and walk away. So...do all this in pasture right in the spot you've managed to catch her. LEAVE HER WANTING MORE. Find "the" spot where she's really enjoying it, really melting into you, and then unhalter her and walk away. Leave her alone the rest of that day. Then come back the next day and do the same thing. I think this'll help there. It's about not really asking anything of the horse (for "us"/for you) but indulge her with these relaxation/pleasuring techniques, then at a very soft spot where she's in bliss, deeply bonded to you, unhalter, walk away, leaving her psychologically wanting more. I think this may work, or at least help there. Clearly food is not going to do it there as reward with her, in this case, because this is about trust with her. She's compliant for riding, etc., but deep down she's not fully trusting and not enjoying herself enough there with you. Time to refile in her brain that time with you is the most pleasureful thing she could be doing in her day and that's where these deeper bonding techniques come in.

Try that and let me know how it goes. I really admire your heart and how much you want to help her there. Be as patient as you've been, and add in these deeper bonding techniques and I think you'll make progress there.

After your dad finishes building the round pen, you can then get busy working on round penning her there to build the come-to-you cue into her foundation, but even there, you're going to want to bond often with her. She needs it. I can see it from here.

My Whispering Way 12-Step Total Training System DVD set teaches all of these bonding techniques and much more, to create, beginning-to-end, the quiet, confident, trusting, willing horse we all want. You can check out/order that DVD set here: CLICK HERE

Hope this helps and keep me posted on how it goes there. And thanks again for writing.