Training Tips

QUESTION: I have read with great interest your website and wondered if you could help me with an ongoing issue with my beautiful mare. We became a partnership(!) two years ago, when I purchased her from a lady on my yard (at the time I had a pony that I'd just rehomed); she had been kept on a strict full livery basis - the former owner only really turned up to ride and then tootled off again, leaving her daily and care and management to the yard staff. I'll cut to the chase and explain! I have developed an extremely close bond with my mare and I am the sole manager of her care and well being - HOWEVER! - She developed, within a few months of ownership, a severe dislike of other horses/ponies entering our space. If she is tied up and another horse pokes its head out of its stable or walks towards us, she will try to lunge at them, ears back nostrils flared and teeth showing. She occasionally snorts at them! If I walk away, she will calm down - even if the other horse stays put and doesn't move away. The other day she aimed this behaviour at a friend of mine who came over to say hi. Its worse if they're male! She then scooped me to her chest by putting her head over my shoulder and pulling me to into her! I find this behaviour really curious and can't understand what has triggered it. She is spoiled (bad I know) but not excessively and other than this strange behaviour she is an absolute angel. Please could you help me to help her! Other people think I'm exaggerating and the people on my yard refer to her as the 'mummies girl' and - not so kindly - the 'guard dog'! I await your response with anticipation. Thank you.

REPLY: That's odd behavior indeed, but what concerns me about it is that, whether you realize it or not, she's not perceiving you as lead mare of her herd, but somehow perceiving herself as leader there, which then puts inner pressure on her to somehow keep you to herself dominatingly. While endearing maybe only on the surface, it's not good or acceptable behavior and you'll want to get this stopped. When she's with you, it's not her job to make these kinds of decisions, but it is your job as "lead mare" of your "herd of two" to be the decision maker at all times.

I want to direct you, for a start, to this section on my web site to read, so you can get some deeper insight into natural herd/horse behavior: http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/WhatIsNH.html

I would advise starting off, if you can, with round penning her to better establish you in her mind as THE one and only leader in your "herd of two." You can learn how to round pen using this tutorial on my web site: http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/RoundPenning.html

You might also think about getting my Whispering Way™ 12-Step Total Training System DVD set, because after the round penning, you can then plug her into the 12 steps which will even better establish you as her leader, while still keeping your bond intact, and she should settle down there better.

One of the things to begin watching there is: make sure you are always the one moving her feet, not the other way around. Horses follow a herd instinct that goes like this: "He/or she who moves the other's feet is higher on the pecking order and therefore the leader." They believe and follow this belief to their core. So make sure from here forward that you are the one always doing the "moving of her feet" and that at no time are you allowing her to be moving your feet. Never move out of her space, but expect her to move out of yours. My 12 Step DVD will teach you all about that and show all the exercises where this is taught properly. I think that would help you a lot there multi-directions!

Since she's fine with other horses when you step away, I'm most certain that's what this is about: leadership. She thinks she's the leader and she thinks she has to herd others, humans and horses, away from you. And that needs to be turned around now because that indeed is not acceptable behavior. And actually it could escalate to downright dangerous. And somehow you're allowing it (accidentally). It's so easy to discipline a horse for doing something like this. And when I use the word discipline, I don't mean hit or anything violent. We discipline them using "herd language." Go to my Q&A section of my web site here (where problems are listed in alphabetical order) and scroll down to the topic of "aggression" and read all the listings I have there under that topic and you'll see how you can be disciplining her for this unacceptable behavior (which indeed is aggression): http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/TrainingTips.html

Hope this helps!