Training Tips

QUESTION: Hi there. I don't know if you actually have time to respond to this question, but I thought I would give it a shot! We own a lovely 7-year-old quarter horse mare who is deathly afraid of miniature donkeys. At her former home, a neighbor's mini donkey got loose and got into the horse pen and spooked them. The horses all ran out of the gate, all except for our horse who misjudged and slammed her front shoulder into the gate post. Of course this hurt, and she was injured for a while. So, in her mind she associates mini donkeys with a whole lot of pain. Well, she lives at my parents farm right next door now and they have two miniature donkeys. Anytime I bring her remotely close to them, she goes crazy. She starts to blow hard, shake, circle, and is almost uncontrollable. Is there any hope to get her over this fear, or should I just try to get my parents to sell the donkeys? My horse isn't afraid of cows or dogs or anything else, only these little donkeys. Do you have any ideas for me? I don't want her to be scared or anything at her new home (we have only had her for about a month and a half) and she is a wonderful, gentle horse around my children, so we definitely want what is best for her. I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thank you for your time.

REPLY: Whenever I find a horse afraid of something, I don't avoid the problem. Instead, I head directly into desensitizing the horse to what they fear so they can learn their fear there is baseless and harmless. And that would be my advice here as well. What I would do for a start, if you can, is to expose her to the donkeys with the eventual goal that you are going to actually be able to put them together in a paddock, then pasture. There is no reason in the world why donkeys and horses can't be pastured together, and they are quite often! But you're going to take it step by step. And you need to do this. Your horse has flushed out a phobia that is doing her no good, so you NEED to do this, knowing it's in her overall best interest.

First, let me direct you to a link on my web site for what I'd do to better introduce her to the donkeys - the route I want to advise you to go there:

Introducing New Horse to New Pasture Mates - Horse is getting injured

Yes, she's going to initially be upset at just being placed with a fence line between her and the donkeys, but you have to do this so that she sees that nothing bad happens to her over time when she is in eye- and nose-touching (over fence line) range of the donkeys. And the only way she is going to learn that is if you allow it to happen, but going the structured route I teach in that above link, starting with a fence line between them. And then follow the rest of what you read there.

It is in a horse's herd instinct to make a herd buddy friend, so if she's the one alone in a paddock or pasture, but sharing a fence line with the donkeys, she WILL move toward making friends with them, because it's instinct in horses to live within a herd, not alone.

She is going to realize that donkeys are just like horses, only smaller, and that she has nothing to fear in them. They are herd animals just like she is.

I'd definitely head in this direction to work on it ASAP, like I show in that link, because you don't want a horse to be phobic about anything because we want a safe horse as well as a non-fearful horse at all times. Whenever you flush out a fear like that, don't avoid it, address it headon and fix it, because it's not fair to the horse to be in a fear spot that they don't know how to exit by themselves. They need our help with that.

I also think you guys would benefit from getting my Whispering Way™ 12-Step Total Training System DVD set, because in the process of running your horse through the steps you learn there, you are going to learn a lot about desensitizing, as well as be building confidence in your horse for anything she is called upon to face (I also teach there relaxation techniques to do with your horse to draw upon at any time when she's upset or afraid, and so much more).

Incidentally, horses tend to be "mirror" creatures, mirroring our own emotions at times, so whenever you yourself are around the donkeys with her, make sure you don't tense up yourself or she'll pick up on that and think there really might be something to fear about these little donkeys. Take long deep breaths at those times, or if you have a hard time doing that, sing a lovely song out loud (that keeps you breathing and translates relaxation to the horse). Don't mirror your horses's fear emotions; model the emotions you want for your horse so she can mirror you.

Give all that a try and you should be able to get her over this fear soon!