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Horse Problem - Buddy Sour - New horse has become extremely buddy sour

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
QUESTION: Hi Sylvia, I really need your help. My husband and I recently purchased a gelding. We bought him for my husband to pleasure ride and to keep our mare company. I had asked the previous owner if he had a buddy problem. He said no but he just did not like being left in the barn alone. When we went to pick him up, he did not seem to have a problem leaving his gelding partner. As soon as we pulled into our pasture to unload him he squealed and trotted over to our mare. They fought it out for a while but by the end of the day they seemed to be doing fine. Well, the following morning we went to turn them out. The mare is always turned out first. The gelding had a fit as soon as she was out of sight, so I had to bring her back into the barn and release them at the same time. I had a friend of mine come over and we worked with them. I took the mare for a walk in the pasture out of the gelding's sight and he continued to act frantically trying to find her. We tried bringing them in and out of the barn to see what would work. If I lead the mare and opened the gelding's stall door, he follows us out and that seems to be working.

My big concern is, if I want to ride my mare and bring her in the barn to tack her up, the gelding is going to have a fit. If I put him in the front pasture, I am pretty sure he will run the fence. My concern there is his getting so upset he might colic. We have spoken to the previous owners and they said if it does not work out they will take him back. I do not want to do that because then my mare has to readjust to being the only horse here and she did not like being in the barn by herself. I do not want to traumatize anyone here. Please help us. I really am very upset over this. I am afraid we would not even be able to get him back in the horse trailer unless the mare is in there with him. If we tricked him and took her back out, I do believe he would do everything in his power to break out of the trailer to join her. I understand all this is new to him and have been advised that he is nervous being in a new environment. I can put up with his not wanting to be alone in the barn, but will not tolerate not being able to ride my horse unless he is beside her. Thank you so much for your time.

REPLY: Hi. Thanks for writing. The root of buddy sour issues is: nonconfidence in a horse. The gelding there is in a new place, new "herd" (they are 100% herd animals and even one more horse makes a herd) and his anxiety has taken over. The opposite of that anxiety and fear (this is about fear) is: confidence. But you can take a hand in turning this around.

Get him better trained, using natural horsemanship methods and he'll start to build life confidence inside of himself, and that will start to translate out all around him. In natural horsemanship we follow the philosophy of: fix the inside of the horse and the outside follows. As they build inner confidence via NH training, it starts to radiate outwards and they stop being so afraid in general, and as a result, they stop having anxiety attacks when removed from "the herd." Confidence replaces fear and anxiety. I've seen that happen time and again in my training program I teach. Get the horse better trained and perceiving YOU as the leader in his herd, not another horse, and he'll shut off the anxieties about being away from a pasture or stall mate.

I would suggest applying horse whispering/natural horsemanship training techniques in a very clear step-by-step program, which you can learn more about in my DVD set, the Whispering Way 12-Step Total Training System, and you can order that here: CLICK HERE

After watching the videos, and after learning and applying the methods, you, as the horse's primary teacher, will have taught the horse:

  • How to be bonded to you more deeply so that the horse trusts you to the max and they will be far more willing to do whatever you ask, even when they are in doubt;
  • That you both have a "bonding place" (a "safety zone") to come back to always, from then on, if the horse is ever upset or afraid, on the ground (or later, in the saddle); we plant a one-rein stop in the foundation of every horse, on the ground first, so that in the saddle, it is automatic. This keeps you safer and the horse more rational, and feeling supported, bonded, connected more deeply emotionally to you.
  • How to relax the horse when they are tense about something before they are called upon to react negatively.
  • How to have the horse yield easily, in any direction when asked -- they'll learn how to yield properly to pressure to receive the release of pressure. All horses learn from the release of pressure what it is you want, not from the pressure itself;
  • How to progress bonding to even deeper levels to the point of downright intimacy; makes a horse feel like they never had it so good being with you!
  • How to move the horse from the rear, and learning to do that rationally, which is so important to teach a horse to do before you ever ride them, and which you'll be using for a lot of other things like trailer loading, going in and out of a gate, into a stall, and so many other places/situations; this also teaches a horse that you are in charge of their feet.
  • How to address effectively any fears (and the horse's reactions to them) that you flush out in their behavior at any given time; my program focuses greatly on finding the fears before they find you and fixing them -- safely on the ground first! Even lay folks can do this. It's all about: safety. This then builds a far more rational, confident, happy, trusting horse, because, in essence, you have effectively raised the horse's "fear/anxiety bar." And you will have taught the horse simultaneously in the process, how to turn to you for nurturance support when/if they are ever afraid or upset.
  • How to do all this first on the ground, then later in the saddle, in that order.
  • How to keep you safe and the horse safe at all times, throughout all of this --- always my biggest training focus.

This video set will help you to lay down an even stronger, more solid and trusting foundation under your horse that will then serve you well, tremendously, actually, when you do step up into the saddle. By the time you complete the steps, you will have a transformed horse. The final steps are in the saddle and those exercises will more deeply plant into your horse's foundation the one-rein stop/the "safety zone," and more, that will turn the horse into a far, far more rational, trusting, happier -- and safer -- horse in saddle as well.

And you can do this yourself if you just back up and learn a few things yourself there. This video set will get you there the fastest with your horse, which is why I'm recommending this route. It's designed for anyone on any level, horse or human, to get professional trainer-like results.

And incidentally...my Whispering Way Complete Training Package contains all my videos and training tools that you need to train or retrain your horse yourself the natural horsemanship Whispering Way. You can check out/order the Whispering Way Complete Training Package on my web site here: CLICK HERE

I'm a very strong believer that every horse owner is their horse's primary teacher/trainer whether they realize it or not. Every time you are with your horse, that horse is learning something. You just want to make sure the horse is learning what you want them to learn, not what you don't want them to learn! My natural horsemanship training techniques are gentle, effective, and powerful. Works with every horse every time!

But it's real important to back up and break down all teaching steps in a way that you are releasing baby-gives, allowing the horse to feel the release for the right answers incrementally, so that they learn that's really what you want.

You can also read these sections on my web site to help you further there as well in the meantime:

After I have worked a horse in a session in my training program, their focus is then only on me and only me, and their demeanor relaxes immensely because they know they can now relax and be lead with proficiency. That's what you need to do there. In the meantime, focus at all times mentally on what you want the horse to do, not what you fear the horse will do. Horses pick up on our focus quite astutely. Like mirrors.

That's the best I can coach from a distance. :-) If you feel you need the one-to-one in person help of a natural horsemanship trainer, visit my "Find a Natural Horsemanship Trainer" section here: http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/FindNHTrainers.html

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